Red Surf

Posted by Vicki on 28.11.04

Gene Simmons must have a preference for bad films. Not only was he in Rutger Hauer's 'Wanted dead or alive', he is also in a cult (read 'appalling') George Clooney film called 'Red surf'. My excuse for coming into contact with 'Red surf' is I'm a sucker for a film that has the disclaimer "front sleeve image not taken from feature".

The plot, led by characters with names like True Blue, is about professional surfers turned major drug dealers, and is about as believable as Dedee Pfieffer's acting - which is unfortunate as she is the female lead. To be fair, Dedee does admirably well for someone expected to deliver most of her lines while wearing a leather jacket adorned on the back with a dubiously painted Virgin Mary.

The film has two highlights. The first is the least stoner surfer, Attila, trying to convince Dedee's character that Attila would be a great name for her unborn child, even if it is a hermaphrodite. The second is the film's general underlying premise that a drug lord who has a pack of wolves in his basement and is engaged in open warfare with the group of surfers doing bad Rambo impressions would not alert the attentions of neighbours or the police.

As uninspired as 'Red surf' is, it is better than Glenn Danzig's most recent attempt to kick start his film career: in 'The Prophecy II: Ashtown', in a supporting role to Christopher Walken's Gabriel. Gabriel is hellbent on destroying humanity as they were most favoured of all God's creations - like 'Dogma' but with Skid Row's 'Breakin' Down' on the soundtrack and sadly-lacking Silent Bob's presence.

The original Prophecy film was entertaining largely due to the brooding and sinister presence of pre-Lord of the Rings Viggo Mortensen as Lucifer. At the time Viggo had only been in one outstanding film, 'American Yakuza'. Curiously, on the same day as I bought 'Red surf', I also picked up 'Blue tiger', which brings together the acting abilities of Viggo's 'American Yakuza' co-stars Virginia Madsen, Ryo Ishibashi and Yuji Okumoto, Viggo's son Henry Mortensen, and Exene Cervenka of punk band X (realtionship to Viggo unknown).

Unfortunately there is a limit to how much suspension of disbelief can be sustained in one evening, so, despite the fact that the placid housewife in 'Blue Tiger' getting an enormous back tattoo and engaging in a sex-crazed killing spree was infinitely more believable than George Clooney wearing a Guns and Roses t-shirt, it also invoked more laughter.