A Neo-Communist reading of Busted's 'Year 3000'

Posted by Getoffmysteps on 28.12.04

Dear fellow Neo Communist,

Although here in the Neo-Communist Society (NCS) we may be regaurded as somewhat non-fais with modern youth culture, from time to time we do choose to review products in the current youth media to assess its merits, provocations and impacts on a socialist soceity. This time I, Karle Skegg, have chosen to review the heady nu-metal-Brit-rock pastische of 'Year 3000' by Cockney kidz Busted.

Sample lyrics are pasted below for your independant surveance:

"He said I've been to the Year 3000
Not much has changed but they live underwater
And your great great great grandaughter
Is pretty fine (she's pretty fine)"

"...I took a trip to the Year 3000
This song had gone multi platinum
Everyone bought our seventh album (seventh album)"

Although a rather chirpy, fun song that is bound to get youths headbanging behind the Spar shop, one must draw their attention to the sheer absurdity and physical impossibilities of the lyrics.

Firstly, there is the claim that a young neighbour of the groups, 'Peter', at the age of nine, has somehow managed to construct out of a delapitated automobile "a time machine like the one in that film I've seen". No further explanation is given, nor plausible references to the laws of physics that may somehow levy the statement credible. Aside from this rather sinister oversight, the laws of causality, space, time and quantum physics are merrily ignored as the heady chorus kicks in.

This is by no means the only bad apple in the barrel of Busted. Perhaps even more obsene is the group's seeming total disreguard for Darwin's evolutionary theory. The stated length of time travelled in the song is approximately 1000 years, a mere nano-second in the eye of evolutionary development. And yet the cockney trio clearly state that the human race have developed to such a degree that the whole of civilization then exists solely underwater. This was a melody-filled quip that left my pipe spiralling out of my great gaping mouth in amazement.

Well Charlie, and you other two, didn't you bother to even GLANCE through Sir Ronald Dolby's classic 'A Marxist Approach to Evolution'? If so, you would have realised that after a mere 1000 years even single cell plankton would only have progressed as to having developed elongated breathing holes of at most 0.3mm. Really, the youth of today are just too out of touch with reality, living in fantatsy worlds of uber-rapid human evolution and time travel capabilities!

Such a churlish set of lyrics will surely have even the most die-hard suburban pre-teen BMX-er scoffing into his Cinnamon Grahams. Yet, to confuse the stinking youth further, Busted's perception of time is also ignored to the other extreme. On one hand, the chorus acknowledges the length of time travelled as 1000 years, yet in the same breath is stating "and your great great great grandaughter is pretty fine". Even in the most counter-productive of families, the creation of 6 generations, averaging the age of the previous generation at the birth of the next as 30 years, would take a mere 180 years. Even taking into account the improbale age of parenthood being 60 years in each generation, the creation of a great great great grandaughter to a member of Busted would only take an approximate 360 years. It is therefore not only an improbablility that a) the merry gang would encounter such a person upon their short time travel experience; b) that they would instantly recognise her, a distant relative; but also the fact that c) such a girl would be alive, in excess of 640 years old and be considered "pretty fine".

To further this confusing perception of time, the lyrics further state that by the year 3000 "this song had gone multi platinum" and "everyone bought our seventh album". Although I am not a popular music enthuasist, even an old sod like me knows that on average, a music group or artiste will release a new album on average every 3 years, in many cases much sooner. Over the last few decades, artists such as Sir Elton John, Cliff Richard, and Aswad have between them released around 100 long play albums. In order to be successful, these artists know that they need to release follow up albums while their original fans are still alive. Yet if Busted insist that in 1000 years they have recorded and released only 7 such albums, logic is yet again thwarted in the paddocks. An album every 125 years or so would try the patience of even the most dedicated fan, given the fact that at the time of the second release, they, and indeed Busted, would be long gone from this earth.

There is much more I could divulge on my soured opinion of Busted's 'Year 3000' and its anti-Communist, logic-defying capabilities. Yet I shall not burden you with such indescrepencies, as it is indeed, like so many others, clearly a New Labour-orientated production, disguised as anti-establishment youth culture but really sent to purge young minds of Communist preferences and scourge yet another vote for New Labour. Tony Blair, you should be ashamed at the amount of contradictions in the lyrics of Britain's nu-metal teen bands. But of course, this is just another one of so many failures and shortcomings this New Labour government has instilled on todays society.

Article by Getoffmysteps